The best and most obvious psychological space on the Internet that offered the most convenient way of interacting with other users is probably the chatroom. As I quickly skimmed the other blogs, it seemed like others would agree. Having not chatted since junior high, I could only count on Google to provide some easy, quick chatrooms. I skipped the ones that required registration; too much of a hassle and handover of information. So I found myself on ICQ’s chat site and promptly entered the 20 somethings room (though at 20, I felt a bit young for that). Picking a simple, unrevealing name was quite important, since I wanted to give the impression that I was there for chatting and didn’t want any potential predator to gather anything from that name. In the end I chose tennisfan.
I was wrong. As soon as I entered the room and typed a quick “hi”, there were several private messages from suspicious sounding names. One person immediately asked for my ASL(actually pretty much everyone there asked that question first and foremost) and without offering any information back, invited me to roleplay. He stopped talking to me right after I asked what it was. The chatroom itself wasn’t very easy to use. In fact, it looked visually messy, with numerous people joining and leaving at a fast rate. That made it hard to communicate in the main room since reading what others type was strenuous, so probably most of the users were involved in private chats.
After browsing through the list of users, I found someone with a username that had the word “gentleman” in it so I messaged him and hoped for the best. We actually had a cordial greeting, followed by the usual “asl” asking. And then I found out he was a 30 year old man (or so he said), which was rather strange considering this room was for “20 somethings”. I would’ve discontinued the conversation if he hadn’t kept asking questions and then replying in a very mature, thoughtful manner. So I decided to let this icky factor pass and chat with him for a bit. He turned out to be a good conversationalist at least, asking about my job, hobbies, and such. Supposedly he’s currently a grad student, who looks 25 according to others, very neat, a good cook, and too busy to find that “special” someone. That was unexpected.
This person was definitely very open about his life, if he was telling the truth. He spoke about his education, his likes/dislikes, where he lived and how he lived. He even added an extra spiel about the immature people who come to chatrooms to roleplay >.> In fact, there wasn’t any question he seemed to shy away from, and he always responded in that same careful, and increasingly light-hearted way. My online impression of this “gentleman” followed the Hyperpersonal model, with a bit of SIP since if he told the truth, gradually I would know much more about him. On the other hand, there was definitely some selective self-presentation going on, since he appeared to be so perfect and the ideal guy, who was just too busy to find his Ms. Right. Behaviour confirmation was also present. For example, when I first referred to his username, his typing manner improved greatly, and he would add extra factors to his character if I complimented him. By the end, he acted so considerate that it was hard to believe that he was weird person browsing through the wrong chatroom. However, after the chat, I don’t feel like I know him well, just the numerous favourable traits that he showed me, and emphasized, so that was all that I knew him by.
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3 comments:
It's interesting that you pointed to the fact that at 20, you feel a little young for the 20's category. I used ICQ as well and felt the same way. Instead of entering the 20’s room, I chose the teens room, which also felt very weird. Though, it really doesn’t matter the age group because you can never be sure of anyone’s actual age… as you found in the 20’s room.
Regarding your blog... the discussion of the hyperpersonal model works well with your experiences in the chat room. I really liked the short analysis on "gentleman"'s possible selective self-presentation. My only criticism is the lack of analysis on the Big 5 Traits. However, Overall, it was very good.
I really enjoyed your recounting of the experience you had in the chat room. It's strange to me that we usually just accept what other people say online as being the truth. It would be so easy for people to lie about even the most basic things, such as age, sex, and location, and none of the other chatters would ever know. It would be nice to believe everything that the man with whom you spoke had to say, but based on the situation it seems very unlikely that most of it was true. Nonetheless, you still grasped onto those cues to formulate an impression of him, an occurrence which, like you said, closely corresponds to the hyperpersonal model. The fact is, even though we don't know whether or not what we're being told is true, we will use what cues we have in order to help us formulate an impression.
Your blog post was very interesting to read and I felt as though I could relate to some of the experiences you encountered when entering this online space. I too, found it confusing and overwhelming when entering the main area of the chat room because of all the conversations were taking place simultaneously, at a very fast paced rate. In my opinion, the only way to really form impression of these chat room users, was to enter into a private chat. You described a very interesting experience because it seems as though you were able to have a real conversation with the “gentleman”. It did seem as though he was definitely exhibiting self-presentation by trying to paint a very ideal version of himself. In addition, I also agree with your point of the SIP model because it seems as though the longer you spoke to him, the more he began to share and over time, you may have been able to learn almost as much about him had you met him face to face.
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