One relationship that started online and left virtuality was the relationship I have with my boss from my summer internship. I saw a posting for the summer intern position on a Cornell website. So I emailed the contact person who was the director of the program, in order to ask about more information on applying for the position. For months he did not respond to me email. I assumed the position had been already filled. Months later, I decided to email him again. He finally replied with a very short and concise email asking me to send my resume to him. I did so. A couple of weeks later I got a call from someone asking to set up a time for an interview. When it came time for the interview I was very nervous. Because all of the emails that the director of the program sent to me were so short, concise, and not very friendly, I felt that he would be that same way in person, and that my interview might be more challenging than others. He also took a long time to respond which made me feel that he was not very interested in me as an applicant. I was very happily surprised however when I finally met him. Right away I could tell he was an extremely friendly person. He seemed genuinely interested in everything I said during the interview. He smiled a lot and made me feel very comfortable. This was the exact opposite of what I was expecting.
This outcome can be discussed along the lines of the Hyperpersonal Model. My thoughts about the program director were definitely exaggerated. I ascribed characteristics to him based on the little I knew about him through the emails he sent. I expected him to be concise and unfriendly because that’s how his emails were. However after my first meeting with my boss I realized he was very friendly and one of the warmest people I ever met. There was definitely an expectancy violation. My expectation for the FtF interaction was negative but actually ended up being very positive. Because of this expectancy violation there was an enhancement affect. Instead of being disappointed like some theories predict, my views of my boss were actually enhanced and became positive.
This assignment helped me realize how much we exaggerate online interactions and how these exaggerations affect our expectations for FtF meetings. If someone sends me a friendly email, I automatically think that when I meet them in person they will be friendly. Through the hyperpersonal model you can see that whether or not there is an expectancy violation determines what kind of effect you will have in person; either enhancement, like in my situation, or it could even be extreme disappointment in other situations.
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