In the modern United States, online relationships seem to have become an increasingly common phenomenon. It seems like nearly everyone knows at least one couple that started as the result of an online meeting, whether it be myspace or an online dating service. There are, however, examples of people who keep their relationships entirely online. One such example of this is can be seen by observing the online relationship of Ric Hoogestraat and Janet Spielmen.
Janet and Ric play an online game known as Second Life. Second Life allows players to control all aspects of their avatars world, and according to the Second Life, website, everything in the virtual world is created and maintained by the players. In this online world, Janet's character, Tenaj, and Ric's character, Dutch are married. Ric spends, on average, six hours a day playing Second Life during the week, and around fourteen hours a day playing during the weekend. Much of this time is spent interacting with his online wife, Tenaj. In addition to the excessive amount of time spent online, there is another problem. Ric is married. His wife's name is Sue Hoogstraat, and she is, understandably, not very happy about her husbands past time.
Ric insists that it is just a game, and shrugs off Sue's complaints as being ridiculous. Friends and family of Sue, however, feel differently. Her children have offered to help her move out, for as far as they are concerned, Ric is cheating on her with his virtual wife. What is it about his virtual world that has caused Ric to forsake his flesh wife for a virtual one?
The question is complicated, with many different aspects to it. The first thing to consider is what is the appeal of the virtual world that Ric lives in. This can be answered by observing his avatar. His avatar is basically his ideal self, representing him when he was younger. Although the examples of avatars and their users on the Second Life website often depict two nearly identical images, it is obvious that this is not always the case. Ric is manipulating conventional assessment signals to make himself appear more ideal.
Ric's online relationship is also probably more satisfying for him than his real world relationship. His virtual wife is what most would refer to as a "hottie", thus making her more desirable to Ric than his rather voluptuous real world wife. Ric is also likely to be less inhibited in his online interactions, as he is in a private space, and has no physical proximity to the characters with which he interacts. Also, all gating features have been removed, such as physical attractiveness, and Ric is free to interact without any of that social anxiety that he may feel in the real world. It is likely that Ric also feels as though Janet understands him, since she plays the same game that gives him so much pleasure, rather than nagging him about, which is what his real world wife does.
Second Life allows Ric to live out a fantasy that he otherwise would be unable to experience. He has immersed himself so entirely in his virtual world, that, regardless of the fact that he his successful and rich in his online life, his real world life has begun to suffer. You can claim that it's just a game all you want, but once a virtual world starts consuming your spare time and making your wife feel like she's being cheated on, it is no longer just a game. It becomes an unpleasant reality, and is no longer a virtual fantasy world.
Website from which article was taken:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118670164592393622.html?mod=hpp_us_leisure
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3 comments:
This is a really interesting situation. Personally, I agree with the kids and wife, the emotional attraction is affecting their "real life" relationship and is therefore cheating. Since Ric is being a bad husband, and it is because of this online life, then it is past a game. This does raise a question as what makes a relationship or attraction real? just as a thought, what about an AI, artificial intelligence, "bot" ? Can someone create a relationship with a well programmed bot? just a thought?
I think you had a very interesting point about physical attractiveness and how that plays a role in virtual relationships that include avatars. Could one’s physical attraction in their avatar play a role in the development of the relationship or does this have nothing to do with who one chooses to engage with in these virtual games? You described his virtual wife as what one would call a “hottie.” So, we have to wonder if their relationship really did bypass the gates of physical attraction or if the physical characteristics of this woman’s avatar were one of the reasons why they began to talk in the first place. People may even more so use the attractiveness of another’s avatar than they would in face to face interactions. The anonymity of the internet may give people the confidence to talk to an avatar that is more attractive than someone they would speak to in a real interaction. This was his virtual world and place to be his ideal self, which may mean making conversation and engaging in relations with girls or representation of them in avatars who he would never normally have the guts to talk to.
Haha, this is a pretty funny situation, almost unbelievable. The most peculiar part of everything is that Ric doesn’t see his actions as being bad. He claims that he is just playing an online game, while most would agree that he is in fact having an online affair with Tenaj. One would normally think that people have a sort of detachment between online CMC verses real-life FtF interactions. This just goes to show that the CMC environment, although usually categorized as lean media, can eventually lead to very personal relations. McKenna’s common ground and identifiability online lead him to form relationships more meaningful than in real-life.
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