Around April of last year, my apartment had a party. I met this girl, CC, who was a mutual friend of a friend of mine. We instantly hit it off, anyone who might have seen us would have thought we had been friends for months. After our initial meeting, there was a bit of awkwardness as to what will happen next. She ended up “friending” me on facebook and the day after, we spoke through AIM for a few hours. Once we got a little more comfortable with each other, we saw each other again and again until we were official. It helped that we happened to be the same major (and didn’t know it at the time), so as finals came around, we spent a lot of time together. But more cumbersome than finals was the onset of summer, I had an internship in
Connecting my experience with McKenna’s relationship facilitation factors, removal of gating features played an important role in our initial meeting. Even though we had a great time meeting each other, the next day was still a bit awkward. Therefore, our mode of contact thereafter was through CMC (ie. facebook and AIM). CMC removed any awkwardness that most likely would have occurred in an FtF meeting because of the control over what and how you speak online and the lack of nonverbal cues such as body language. CMC removed these “gating features” from affecting our relationship. It is interesting that our meeting had aspects of both online dating and traditional dating because we were initially physically attracted to each other and therefore met. However, we got to know each other better through subsequent CMC interactions.
Connecting to similar others and interaction control also facilitated our relationship. Over the summer, we spent many hours talking on the phone, webcam, and instant messaging. With these lean media, we had much more control over our words (phone calls and AIM) and appearance (on webcam) which made our interactions more comfortable. Also, since we are the same major, she took an interest in my internship and I helped her with her summer classes. Because we had similar academic backgrounds, we were able to connect and interact with each other much better.
3 comments:
I thought it was very interesting how you initially met in FtF, but got to know one another better through CMC. As a result, you were able to apply McKenna's relationship factors to both types of communication. I was especailly interested in how the gating features didn't prevent you two from meeting in person, however would have certainly done so if you talked FtF right away again. Thus, through CMC nonverbal behavior or tone of voice didn't get in the way of your relationship from forming.
I think you did a great job describing gating features and interaction control (through choosing how you wanted to say in CMC) and connecting to similiar others (because of your same major). However, I would have also liked an explanation of how your original FtF meeting, then CMC, influenced her McKenna's factor of 'getting the goods' once you guys met up in person again.
I think that you did a great job describing the removal of gating features. Its interesting that you first met face to face but really got to know each other through AIM and other CMC media. That is something that, after initially meeting face to face, you would not expect. However, it probably made it easier to be yourself and self present yourself. You did a great job explaining McKenna's interaction control in this situation. Because you are in the same major, had you met before or seen each other before and been initially physically attracted to one another before the first meeting? I find it very interesting that you connected through CMC and not in person because of this.
Hi Vaishal,
It was pretty cool to read about your experience because I can relate to it :) For instance meeting someone FtF brought about the friendship, but it was through CMC that the relationship grew to a more personal level.
I agree with your assessment using McKenna's relationship factors - especially the removal of gating features and cues.
You two also had a common ground and similar interests, which helped you connect, while also on CMC.
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