The summer before coming to Cornell for my freshman year, I was a bit worried because I did not know any of my future peers. In an effort to alleviate some of this nervousness and worriment, I decided to enter the chat room on the Cornell “Class of 2009” website. After about fifteen minutes of being in the chat room I began chatting with “Rick.” It started off simple enough—we made small talk about our interests, where we were both from, our intended majors, and other such information. We ended up chatting for nearly three hours that first night. It seemed amazing! I felt as if I had actually connected with somebody that I would like to become friends with while at Cornell. After that first night we ended up chatting at least twice a week and even exchanged emails. As our virtual conversations continued over the weeks I felt as though I was really getting to know Rick. I could hardly wait to arrive in Ithaca at the end of the summer to meet my new friend.
Based on your great conversations you would probably assume that once we met in person we would click instantly and become best-buds, right? Um… wrong! I remember arriving to Cornell and then heading to the dining hall, just as Rick and I had agreed to do, and finally meeting him, face-to-face. It was one of the most awkward and confusing experiences I had ever endured! I thought I knew Rick based on our virtual conversations. However, our instant messages and emails didn’t prepare me for his nasty mannerisms, rude physical actions, his blunt attitude, and immature social interactions when face to face with not only me, but also with others. I was totally confused—why was he not the “cool” Rick that I had conversed with online?
My interactions with Rick can be best summed up and described by incorporating Walther’s Hyperpersonal Theory. This theory suggests that CMC allows users to selectively self-present themselves, allowing certain impressions to be formulated. Walther suggests that users will resort to overattribution and exaggeration of learned details based on a lack of cues. This was the case with Rick. Based on only our virtual conversations, I had used the limited cues to assume how he would behave when our relationship left virtuality. The hyperpersonal model also predicts negative outcomes for leaving virtuality and this fits with my experience: when we first met, I formed a negative impression of the once “cool” Rick. I had assumed we would get along well and interact in a particular way (which was TOTALLY incorrect!).
Needless to say, Rick and I are no longer “face-to-face” friends. He and will chat from occasionally while online, but we have never spent time together since that initial meeting. Perhaps Walther, Ramirez, and Wang are correct—some relationships should never leave viruality. As for Rick, I’d much rather have him as a virtual friend and would probably rather spend time with crazy Britney Spears than hang out with him!
-Joshua Navarro
My Comments:
http://comm245purple.blogspot.com/2007/11/assignment-11-first-impressions-can-be.html
http://comm245purple.blogspot.com/2007/11/assignment-11-actually-youre-weird.html#comments
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4 comments:
Josh:
I can completely identify myself with the situation you just described. Before coming to Cornell I "friended" as many people as possible on Facebook in order to get ahead of the friend's game. I met a guy who I thought would be great to hang out with. We had tons in common and he was great to talk to online. Then I met him for dinner and I was sadly disappointed. He was awkward and uninteresting. He also didn't seem to like any of my friends. I agree with you that this was a case of the Hyperpersonal Model taking full effect. I also believe we both experienced some Expectancy Violation because what we expected was not what we got.
But you've only met him face-to-face once! I wonder how the SIP theory works in the real world. The overtime adaptation thing. Maybe Rick was equally confused with your first encounter. Maybe he was nervous and was acting up to impress you.
Maybe in subsequent meetings the Rick you perceive in the real world would overlap more with the Rick you knew in the virtual world. But since you don't plan on meeting him again, you probably wouldn't find out what would have happened. I feel you didn't give him enough of a chance.
Hey, I understand sometimes you can tell within a few minutes if someone will get along with you very well. But first impressions CAN change.
I found myself in a similar situation as yours. I also talked with a future suitemate before coming to Cornell my freshman year and thought that we would be great friends because we got along so well online. But meeting her, I was so taken aback by her tone of voice, gestures, and how she acted around other people. I also talked about the hyperpersonal model and I think that in these two cases, selective self-presentation is the reason for the difficult ftf interaction. For me, the girl and I had focused on what we had in common and when we met, I found that we really did not have anything in common. We both over exaggerated the few cues we had given each other and this led me to form a negative impression of her when we first met, because she wasn’t the person I thought she would be.
I really enjoyed your blog post. I thought it humorous but also very indicative of what happens when you leave virtuality. I however had the opposite experience you had. I went from having a bad impression of someone in CMC to meeting them in person and actually liking them a lot. I think its so interesting how both cases can happen when leaving virtuality. I think it definitely ties into the technogolical determinism point Prof Hancock made. Technology can definitely not determine certain outcomes of interactions, it depends a lot on the psychology.
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