When asked to write about a relationship that began online and later left virtuality to meet face to face, I had difficulty thinking up such a relationship that had occurred. Because I knew my freshman roommate before we were assigned housing in those wonderful townhouses, the only relationship I could think of was the one that developed between me and my roommate and our two suitemates (as they were friends prior to moving in as well).
My roommate and I had not heard from the two of them all summer, so we decided to send them an email because we did not know either of their AIM screen names or if they even had AIM. We sent them basic information about ourselves, such as where we’re from, major, favorite movie, favorite T.V. show, etc; typical get-to-know-you information. They didn’t respond for a couple of weeks (which didn’t send a positive initial impression of my future housemates); however, when they finally did, I found that we had some things in common. The three of us (excluding my roommate) were all from a big city, and we liked similar movies and T.V. shows. Based on this information (I sent an email back to them but there was no further correspondence), it seemed like we would get along well in the upcoming year.
All I have to say is move in day was a shock to me. After the modality switch, meeting them for the first time face to face, I realized that they were not at all what I had expected them to be. Unfortunately, the modality switch led to a contradiction of my little knowledge and expectations of them. Needless to say, we did not get along like I had expected. My impressions followed the hyperpersonal model: I formed exaggerated impressions of my suitemates based on the few cues they had given me over the summer. It turns out that we did not have as much in common as I had expected. They were also much quieter and shyer than I assumed. When my roommate and I invited them to go places with us, such as dinner at RPU, they refused therefore making it difficult to get to know them face to face, just as it had been difficult getting to know them through computer mediated communication. My modality switch therefore, unfortunately, led to a negative impression of my suitemates. I was expecting great relationships to form throughout freshman year based on the few cues I had; however, my expectations did not develop as I predicted.
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Hello Laura,
Unfortunately, I’m sure there are many of us out there who have shared similar experiences to yours with your freshman year suitemates. I remember I felt the same way my freshman year when it came to my roommate. That summer I had received a brief email from him with very little description (but some!) of himself. I, like you, resorted to the hyperpersonal model and overattributed those few cues I had available. I had anticipated meeting a great and interesting person, only to be disappointed when we met face-to-face. Why is it that we humans often tend to exaggerate certain cues in order to form impressions? Maybe it’s because we do not like that state of being left in the dark and not in the know. Is it because we do not like when information is not readily available to us? I don’t really know the answer! Oh well. I hope other relationships are still doing well!
-Joshua Navarro
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